My Left Footloose

An Extraordinary Young Man at a Crossroad in His Life. Also, a Dragon.

Master Li Mu Bai (Chow Yun Fat) and the unacknowledged love of his life, Yu Shu Lien (Helen Reddy) search for the thief of the Green Destiny Sword – actually a disguised cartoon dragon named Elliot – tracking it to Pasamaquaddy, Maine. There, they find it in the possession of a young man named Pete (Zhang Zhiyi), who uses his extraordinary martial arts abilities and Elliot’s fiery breath to fight off the evil duo of Dr. Terminus (Jim Dale) and the Jade Fox (Cheng Pei-Pei) while saving a ship in a terrible storm and taking part in extravagant musical numbers.

Crouching Tiger, Pete’s Dragon

Cheat sheet Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon | Pete’s Dragon

Contributor Christo4o
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through the Tang Dynasty, son. | Zip-a-dee-doo-dah! Zip-a-dee-ay! My, oh, my what a crapulent day!

And if you think that’s a strange mix, check this out.

She Will Tear Up The Whole town Until She Finds Ivan (Or, Everybody's Seeing Shiites These Days)

It's been a bad week for Pepa. Her lover Ivan left her, and his psycho ex-wife is hounding her. Her doctor tells her she's pregnant. Her best friend Candela is wanted by the police for her association with terrorist. And to top it off, after a close encounter with an alien spaceship, she just can't stop growing. But can her now-Brobdingnagian stature help her find Ivan, protect Candela, and foil a terrorist plot?

Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Cheat sheet Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman | Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Contributor the Jersey City Mods
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I Come in Pieces | Parting More Than The Heavens

Ah, they just don't make them like this anymore.

If Do Properly, No Can Defense.

Displaced New Jerseyite Daniel Larusso (Ralph Macchio) finds a mentor in aging bank robber and handyman, Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman). Butch teaches his young protégé how to defend himself against the Cobra Kai, a gang from a local karate school. To settle things once and for all, Butch convinces Daniel to enter the local karate tournament, never dreaming that the final opponent is the entire Bolivian Army!

Butch Cassidy and the Karate Kid

Cheat sheet Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid | The Karate Kid

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These The Man in the Black Pajamas… A Worthy Adversary | What’s the Best Way to Take a Bridge? Punch It in the Face, Apparently.

This movie made an indelible mark on my psyche when it first came out. This scene is, to many people of my generation, a defining moment in cinema. And no, I’m not telling you what generation that is.

And, just for fun, here’s a very famous kick from the other movie.

Mean Streets, and Meaner Sagebrush

Private eye Phillip Marlowe (Elliott Gould) drives a friend (James Keach) from LA to Tijuana. When he returns home, he finds a posse waiting to arrest him for aiding and abetting the escape of his friend, who turns out to be none other than Jesse James! Dogged, relentless Marlowe tracks Jesse from his apparent suicide in Mexico back to Missouri, catching up with him just as Robert Ford (Nicholas Guest) guns the outlaw down.

The Long Goodbye Riders

Cheat sheet The Long Goodbye | The Long Riders

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These How do you like your brandy, sir? In a glass. | Remind me never to play poker in this town.

In 1969, MGM released a movie called Marlowe, based on Chandler’s short story "The Little Sister". It starred James Garner and Bruce Lee, which pretty much blew my mind. Here’s their first meeting.

Truth Needs a Game Show Host

In a tangled web of private agendas, temporary CIA Deputy Director Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford) turns to top field operative Chuck Barris (Sam Rockwell). Despite his troubled personal life and commitments to the Dating Game and The Gong Show, Barris helps Ryan extract a covert assault team from Colombia and expose their own government’s secret crimes. Also, Barris sleeps with Drew Barrymore.

Clear and Present Dangerous Mind

Cheat sheet Clear and Present Danger | Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These It’s the Plumbers. They’ve Come to Fix the Sink. | Forster. E M Forster.

You know, they actually turned The Gong Show into a movie at one point. Don’t believe me? Watch this.

Disney May Not Approve of This One

A pair of alien children (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig), apparently abandoned by their parents on Earth to try and avert an invasion, enlist the help of a pair of cowboys (Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal) and a cabbie (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) to help them evade the evil forces hunting them and get them back home. But an unusual bond develops between the cowboys, leading to a night of passion that the children shouldn’t have been allowed to watch, and which makes the cabbie strangely thoughtful.

Race to Brokeback Mountain

Cheat sheet Race to Witch Mountain | Brokeback Mountain

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I Wish I Knew How to Quit You, Doc | I feel like I’ve been in a coma for the past twenty years, and I’m just now waking up.

This is just wrong. On every conceivable level. But you’re going to watch it anyway, aren’t you?

Somehow, the South Carolina Houseboat Drifts Into Baltimore…

A convicted rapist (Robert De Niro), angry at the defense attorney who failed to get him acquitted (Ben Affleck), is released from prison after 14 years. He immediately starts to stalk the lawyer and his family, threatening them with a salvaged Israeli nuclear bomb.

The Cape of All Fears

Cheat sheet Cape Fear | The Sum of All Fears

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Détente’s Just a Fancy French Word for “Cold War” | Welcome to The Show!

Here’s a nice little mix, blending scenes from the 1962 version and 1991 verson of Cape Fear.

“You may find this wery hard to believe, Mr. Bond, but… I’m gay.”

Superspy James Bond (Sean Connery) stalks a deadly killer to a remote island, where he finds flamboyant Austrian fashionista Brüno (Sacha Baron Cohen) weirding out Ron Paul, adopting an African child, and making Bond question the motives behind his almost pathological heterosexuality. Confusion and mayhem – and confusing mayhem – ensue.

Dr. Brüno

Cheat sheet Dr. No | Brüno

Contributor Rick and Christo4o
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Why Ain’t You Dead? | Forster. E M Forster.

Brüno opens today. Check out the trailer to see what the star of Borat is up to this time.

One small step for love, one giant leap for the dark side of the moon.

A dissolving fifteen year marriage is saved when the most dangerous universal crime forces kidnap a couple (Albert Finney and Diane Keaton) to a quiet Moonbase Waste Disposal Plant.

Shoot The Moonbase

Cheat sheet Shoot The Moon | Moonbase

Contributor Dawn
Editor Miss Spell

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Woof! How Can I Help You Today? Grrrrr... Woof! | Tannis, Anyone?

It's a marvelous night for a moonwalk.

When the gangs take over the highway... remember to signal.

A biker gang of vicious comedians (everybody who's ever been funny) murder the family of a cop (Spencer Tracy), then taunt him with their prankster antics into a crazy chase across the dystopic future landscape of California until he gets into an auto accident with an unreasonably ill-behaved Mel Gibson (Tom Cruise)

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Max

Cheat sheet It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World | Mad Max

Contributor Dawn
Editor Miss Spell

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Try the Dog Food Couscous | It's a Mad House! A Mad House!

Burt Reynolds, Dom de Louise, Sammy Davis, Jr., Dean Martin, and Farrah Fawcett in Cannonball Run - a different kind of gang taking over the highway.

Only one man can help them make something wonderful out of being alive!!

A bitter, heartbroken drifter (Mel Gibson) escorts a married couple (Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney) on their second honeymoon through the post-apocalyptic Australian outback. The disenchanted guide must endure the couple's 10 years marriage memories of infidelity, spats, rites of passage, and fashion trends, while defending them from gasoline pirates and cannibals.

Two For The Road Warrior

Cheat sheet Two For The Road | Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior

Contributor Dawn
Editor Miss Spell

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I always thought it was a ridiculous name for Saturday detention. | Who Run Bartertown? Simple Jack Run Bartertown!

A boy and girl face the challenge of the world's last frontier, Australia, in Walkabout... demonstrating that parts of Australia were a wasteland long before Mad Max's time.

The Power of a Broken Heart

In 1920s Paris, a young man (Rupert Friend) spurned by an older women (Michelle Pfeiffer) retreats into fantasy, where he travels a post-apocalyptic wasteland with Melanie Griffith to find a robot replacement for his lost love.

Chéri 2000

Cheat sheet Chéri | Cherry 2000

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Double In-Demme-nity, or, Instead of the Wedding March They Played "Goodbye Horses" | Crying God for England, Harry, and Mr. Zorg!

Chéri opens today, and looks like a delightful costume drama. Take a peek at the trailer.

Giant Transforming Robots Saw Me Naked!

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) heads off to college, only to find that Decepticons have taken over the Alpha Beta fraternity, and the whole Greek Council! Only with the help of the Autobots in the reject fraternity of Lambda Lambda Lambda can Sam hope to mount a war of pranks and make the world safe for the socially challenged!

Transformers: Revenge of the Nerds

Cheat sheet Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen | Revenge of the Nerds

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Bruckheimer’s Feelgood Classic – Fun for the Whole Family! | Lecter: Those Nerds Are a Threat to Our Way of Life

The Tri-Lams and Omega Mu talent segment from Revenge of the Nerds. You just know that some of those instruments turn into robots!

For those of you living on the moon, the new Transformers movie opens today... to spectacularly bad reviews. For some tasty schadenfreude (or even if you're just a connoisseur of awesome movie review writing) check out io9's "Michael Bay Finally Made an Art Movie". And here's the flippin' trailer. Lots of CGI and Megan Fox... and I think there's CGI Megan Fox, too. ~ Jane

I'm Just Not Sure Why The Fish Has Glasses.

Aging superhero and dissatisfied cubicle rat Henry Limpet gives up his frustrating life of insurance-wrangling and closeted world-saving and is transformed into a talking fish bent on defeating evil Nazi supervillain Syndrome. His family - Elastigirl, Dash, morose and sarcastic Invisible Girl, and the mysterious Jack Jack - must free him from Syndrome's lair before the human world is destroyed and Limpet's fish friends develop into a new race of possibly peaceful fish-men.

The Incredibles and Mr. Limpet

Cheat sheet The Incredibles | The Incredible Mr. Limpet

Contributor Phil
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Dammit, Jim! I'm an Ogre, Not a Physicist! | Paging Mr. Toaster. White Courtesy Telephone, Please.

Fish have no boring jobs, no demanding spouses, and no mysterious, leering, martini-drinking Navy guys to contend with. Fishes' lives are better lives than people's.

It Ain't Like It Used to Be, But It'll Do.

Greg, Marsha, Peter, Jan, Bobby, Cindy, and Alice face the march of progress, the Mexican army, and a gang of bounty hunters led by Sam the Butcher while they plan a robbery of a U.S. army train. No one (not even Tiger!) is innocent in this gritty tale of coming of age while becoming obsolete.

The Wild Brady Bunch

Cheat sheet The Wild Bunch | The Brady Bunch Movie

Contributor Scott 
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Fire All of Your Guns at Once and Explode into Space | I Wish I Knew How to Quit You, Doc

It doesn’t get much shootier than The Wild Bunch. Ever since this film hit the theaters in 1969, this final, apocalyptic gun battle has been aped by other directors; either as an homage or in an attempt to out-do the original. None, in my opinion have succeeded. And it’s not just the guns… it’s not just the great actors… it’s the sheer ruthlessness of the firefight. Using women as shields, children firing guns, shooting people in the back, accidentally shooting companions who get in the way… it’s complete mayhem. Even better, it’s not good guys versus bad guys. It is bad guys versus evil guys - lots and lots of evil guys. By this point in the film there is no doubt that William Holden and company are completely ruthless, amoral criminals. But the Mexican warlord, he’s worse than they are, and on an even grander scale. By going out in the blaze of glory, taking out the General and his army, the Wild Bunch know that someone, even if they are illiterate Mexican peasants, will be grateful that they ever existed, and not curse their names when they are gone. ~Scott

The Man Dance

A group of locals in a college town yearn to define their identities and start their lives, so they tune up their bicycles and go on a cross-country kidnapping and crime spree culminating in a brutal gun battle on the field of the local bike racing track.

Breaking Away of the Gun 

Cheat sheet Breaking Away | Way of the Gun

Contributor Scott 
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These We were just outside Barstow, on the edge of the desert...| One Bowler to Rule Them!

The Way of the Gun is chock-full of great lines from memorable characters, horrifying beer-bottle-fu, perhaps the best way to deter a kidnapper I’ve even seen, and a ransom so big that James Caan calls it “a motive with a universal attachment.” Plus the he film stands out for no better reason than they break Sarah Silverman’s nose in the first five minutes. But they weren’t joking when they titled this film. There is some serious gun-fu in this one, and none of it is that stupid John Wu/Chow Yun Fat flying through the air in slow motion while doves fly by as you shoot two pistols akimbo, only to land, throw the empty guns away, and whip two more out of your ass, which clearly has a gun cabinet in it. In The Way of the Gun, walls are shot through, cover isn’t what it appears to be, bullet proof vests don’t cover enough, and amateurs can kill you if you blink... all of it shot in real-time to give it that frantic feel of a gunfight between guys who know what they are doing. ~Scott

Best Shootout Ever! Way of the Gun - Watch more Funny Videos

Hey Homey! Is That My Briefcase?

A cab driver with woman troubles finds himself the hostage of an engaging contract killer as he makes his rounds from hit to hit during one night in LA. In addition to finding a way to save both himself and one last victim, he's gotta figure out a way to "hit that".

Booty Collateral 

Cheat sheet Booty Call | Collateral

Contributor Scott 
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Another Postcard | Thanksgiving at the TomKats'

Collateral (like many Michael Mann films) is pretty damn serious about its guns, much like its cold and calculating antagonist, Vincent, played surprisingly-well by Tom Cruise. In the following clip we get a taste of why Vincent is a scary, scary man… and cudos to Mr. Cruise for putting in the practice to make that fast-draw look good without the benefit of film editing. I still think the film missed a couple opportunities to make Cruise even scarier. For one thing, they could have filmed Cruise at his actual height. There is nothing more frightening to me than a short guy with a gun. Like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, you don’t antagonize a short, armed sociopath with an inferiority complex. The film also gets a bit overblown with Cruise sitting in the back of Jamie Fox’s cab spouting nihilistic philosophy… how much more terrifying would it have been if he’d started pitching Foxx on Scientology? The last thing you want is a bi-polar closeted gay midget with an HK USP pressed to the back of your head asking when was the last time you were “clear!” ~Scott

Maybe Alan Moore Will Watch THIS One…

The new owner of the Cleveland Indians, in an effort to lose badly enough that she can move the team, puts together a hodge-podge of washed-up ballplayers and fictional characters. Despite her interference, the deft coaching of Allan Quatermain (Sean Connery), experience of veteran pitcher Jake Taylor (Tom Berenger), and invisibility of shortstop Rodney Skinner (Tony Curran) unite to turn the losing team around. Fantastic finale as, in the ninth inning, Pedro Cerrrano (Dennis Haysbert) uses voodoo to summon the Nautilus out of center field, allowing Captain Nemo (Naseerudding Shah) to catch what would have been a home run.

Major League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Cheat sheet Major League | The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Moneypenny is the M’aitre D’ | There’s No Crying in Squid Battles!

If you haven’t checked out the original comic book series of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, you’re missing out on something wonderful. Here’s Alan Moore, the writer, talking about the book, an only being a little bit scary.

In Space, There Can Be Only One

A police marshall (Sean Connery), working for a mining colony on Jupiter's moon Io, discovers that an organized crime ring smuggling a drug called "Quickening" is run by a brutal immortal warrior from the Russian steppes (Clancy Brown). In a surprise plot twist, the marshall is revealed to be another immortal, originally from ancient Egypt, and he recruits and trains a third (!) immortal warrior (Christopher Lambert), who is from the highlands of Scotland, to battle the drug kingpin. Much violence and explosive decompression ensues.

Outlander

Cheat sheet Outland | Highlander

Contributor christo4o
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These There Can Be Only One (Way to Organize My Record Collection)! | Fire All Your Guns And Explode Into Space

There's Room For Only One Cyborg in This Family

Bennie travels to Argentina in search of his missing older brother, only to find that Tetro had been terminally injured but re-created as an emotionless law-enforcement automaton.

TetroboCop

Cheat sheet Tetro | RoboCop

Contributor Phil
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These An Offer He Can't Refuse | I'm Terrified Beyond the Capacity for Rational Thought

Francis Ford Coppola's family drama Tetro opens today.

Oompah, Loompah, Doopedee Dale, We Work for a Chocolatier Whale…

A poor young man named Jesse (Jason James Richter) works to free candy-making whale Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) from captivity in a chocolate river. Memorable mainly for Willy’s madcap dialogue and the scene where he rides a glass elevator over the head of Jesse, as he the boy stands on a fudge embankment.

Free Willy Wonka From the Chocolate Factory

Cheat sheet Free Willy | Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These The CIA’s Got a Golden Ticket | Would You Like a Krill Sandwich With Your Afternoon Tea?

We always knew Wonka was just a little bit more sinister than portrayed in the movie...

Neuralizer Vs. Cattle Bolt Gun

Texas Sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) and his deputy James Edwards (Will Smith) are in pursuit of wandering killer Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem), whose outre hairstyle is the first clue that he's not really human, but rather a blood-sucking extraterrestrial arachnid. (Chigurh = Chigger. Get it? Heh.)

No Country for Old Men In Black

Cheat sheet No Country For Old Men | Men In Black

Contributor Philmchick
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Double Your Tommy Lee, Double Your Fun (Yes, we did the sequel first. So sue us.) | What's the Most You Ever Lost in a Coin Toss?

Suntory Time Warp

A movie star with a sense of emptiness (Will Ferrell) takes a wrong turn on the way to Japan to endorse Suntory whiskey, and finds himself stranded in a primitive land full of dinosaurs and horrific, lisping humanoid lizards. He strikes up an unlikely friendship with Chaka (Scarlett Johansson), a primitive human, and rediscovers himself.

The Land of the Lost in Translation 

Cheat sheet Land of the Lost | Lost in Translation

Contributor Jane 
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These He Fixes the Clutch Cable? | Charles de Gaulle is having the worst day of his life..over and over!

The Land of the Lost opens today.

Kevin Smith fans will remember this prescient Will Ferrell role from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. 

Something Evil Stalks the Bookshops of Stalingrad

A Russian sniper (Jude Law) teams up with a shady rare book dealer (Johnny Depp) to engage in a cat-and-mouse sniper hunt through war-torn Stalingrad, trying to thwart a pair of German snipers (Ed Harris and Frank Langella) on a quest for a book that has the power to summon the Devil (Rachel Weisz).

Enemy at the Ninth Gate

Cheat sheet Enemy at the Gates | The Ninth Gate

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Some people are bullfighters. Some people are politicians. I'm a photographer taking pictures of drug dealers in bad blond wigs. | Guns May Not Be the Best Weapons Against the Plague

The brutal opening scenes of Enemy at the Gate, complete with the least inspiring set of instructions you could ever hope to hear when running into battle.

Shape Up, Men, Or You Get The Genital Cuffs!

Major Reisman (Lee Marvin) is given a dozen charming con men (including Michael Caine and Steve Martin) to infiltrate the French Riviera. Their goal? Run a long con on the Vichy government and the Nazis, stealing their looted artwork and seducing their rich fraüleinen.

Dirty Rotten Dozen Scoundrels

Cheat sheet Dirty Rotten Scoundrels | The Dirty Dozen

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I’ll Be Home for Christmas | The απείθαρχο παιδί Pack

Here’s a wonderful scene from The Dirty Dozen. I think Lawrence and Freddie would fit right in, here.